Day 2 Michigan Adventure

Day 1 Michigan Adventure

Helping vs. Hurting Those in Need

John Wesley said, ​“Do all the good you can. By all the means you can. In all the ways you can. In all the places you can. At all the times you can. To all the people you can. As long as ever you can.” Talk about social responsibility!

This morning I was reading something from Rick Warren and he said that we are not responsible FOR people but we are responsible TO people. This got me thinking about ways in which I have tried to be responsible TO people - helping them in any way I can. The challenge is to find the balance between doing things for people and expecting them to do it all for themselves. 

As a white, middle-class, American man, I am a member of undoubtedly the most privileged class in the world and with that come a great deal of responsibility. I’m amazed at how many people I encounter who believe that they are a product of their own hard work and don’t understand why people are struggling in this world. They are the cynics and would fall into the, “do it for yourself” category.

​ Then there are those who are the bleeding heart, mercy-minded people who, if the truth be told are probably more co-dependent than caring and compassionate. Those who believe that the poor need them are not doing anyone any good.

If your definition of poverty is defined by physical, emotional or spiritual lack then helping people depends on your ability to provide these things. Unfortunately when we try to provide for these deficiencies we only compound the problem. Poverty is about lack of relationships; access to people who are a voice for their plight. The lack of physical, emotional and spiritual things is only a product or fruit of lacking relationships that can reconcile people to themselves, their neighbor, their Creator and to all of creation.

When it comes to helping people, the key is in relationship. Personally, I am very reluctant to give anything to anyone with whom I don’t have some sort of relationship or affinity. I am much more likely to pay my friend’s electric bill than I am to drop money into a bucket of a man collecting funds for some cause at an intersection.

Here are a few questions that I ask myself before I jump in to “help” someone:

1. How well do I know this person; do I know someone who knows them?
2. Is my, “helping” giving them a hand up or a hand out?
3. Is this person taking personal responsibility to overcome their circumstances? 
4. What is the best use of my social, emotional, financial, spiritual capital in helping this person?
5. Am I giving out of pity or because I see myself as a partner in their plight?
6. If I don’t have what it takes to help them do I know someone who does?

It’s amazing how differently we look at people who are caught up in the cycles of poverty once we put a name to their face and we are personally invested in their lives. What are ways they you are helping those around you? You might be surprised at how many people are in need who live right down the street.

A Life Worth Memorializing: Living Courageously

Why do we memorialize people and events? It’s the day after Memorial Day and we, as the United States of America have dedicated a day to remembering all of those who have given their lives to protect the freedoms of which we are the beneficiaries. But why is it necessary?

I spent quite a bit of time driving back to Chicago yesterday and drove through quite a number of small towns. Most of them had a park or plaza with a monument dedicated to something, a statue or bust of someone. There were lots of cemeteries with American flags, headstones and mausoleums; buildings and public places were named after people, but why?

My thought is that we want to honor those who have left a positive legacy and we never want to forget those who have left a negative one. We are surrounded by reminders of the people who have gone before us because quite frankly, humankind has a very short memory.

Throughout history we have repeated cycles of atrocities because we didn't learn from the past. We forgot what we were supposed to do to break these cycles of destruction and we forgot the people who inspired us to be better as well as those who demonstrated the depths of human depravity.

We are surrounded by reminders of where we've been, where we want to go and who we want to be. A tour through any nation’s capital is filled with reminders of that nation’s history, just as digging through an attic or basement in most of our homes would be.

My grandfather recently died and while helping my grandmother move out of their home I was amazed at the things that she put the highest value on at her yard sale. They weren't the things that actually had the highest value, they were the things that SHE valued the most; the things that had high sentimental value because I’m sure she really didn't want to see them go.

We cling to things because we never want to forget. God understood this. That’s why he allowed the Israelites to go through the wilderness for 40 years. He never wanted his people to forget His faithfulness. Jesus also understood this. He told his disciples to break bread and drink wine in remembrance of Him; for his sacrifice for them and for all humanity. 

We have to be intentional if we are going to remember the past; to learn from those who have gone before us and to honor them and what they taught us about living courageously. It is certainly my life’s ambition to live a life that inspires this and future generations and I hope that it is yours as well.

Increase Your Quality of Life: Live Simply!

It’s amazing to me the stuff that I accumulate.  Of course I don’t even notice until I’m are in some kind of transition, i.e. moving, renovating, organizing, etc.  Where does this stuff come from and why do I have it?  After a while I start to feel a little overwhelmed with managing it all; where to put it, how to maintain it; keeping it clean, remembering that I have it!  It’s crazy making.  

I happen to be in one of those places right now, hence the inspiration for this post.  I’m pretty sure that I’m not the only one who struggles with the, “space invaders”.  The way that I look at it, the more that I can simplify my life, the higher the quality of life that I can live.  Simplifying doesn’t necessarily mean eliminating but oftentimes that’s the best option.    

Here are some ways that I’ve found to simplify my life and remove much of the self-inflicted stress that creeps in.

Simplifying “Stuff”:  I find myself asking this question quite a bit these days, “Do I really need this?” It’s good to determine the difference between a need and a want.  If I have clearly defined the goals that I have for my life, mentally, physically, spiritually, financially, relationally, etc. then I have a good foundation for deciding whether something will move me closer to or further away from those goals.  For example, I want to read more so for me, purchasing a television and cable would probably lead to spending more time watching TV than reading.  

Simplifying Finances: A good formula for simplifying your finances is to save 10% (or more), give 10% to God and never spend more than you have.  Sometimes this is easier said than done but it can be done.  Oftentimes this has more to do with how much we’ve extended ourselves with our house, cars and toys.  How big of a house do we really need?  How luxurious a car?  Some studies found that Americans typically spend more than they save whereas the Chinese save about 30%, Germans 13% and Swiss 14%.  Try paying cash; it hurts a little more than handing over a plastic credit card.

Simplifying Meals: Keep cooking simple and healthy!  I rarely spend more than 30 minutes cooking a meal and really enjoy cooking.  Preparing meals can be a bit stressful and eating out can be costly.  Look online for healthy meals that are easy to prepare and that you can freeze and save for later.

Simplifying Health: Try committing to 5 minutes of exercise a day.  You’ll be amazed at how much better you will feel if you get out for a walk, do push-ups, sit-ups, pull-ups or jumping jacks.  Don’t smoke, drink in excess, take illicit drugs or abuse prescription medicine. Eat small, healthy snacks throughout the day and drink at least 2 to 3 liters of water to stay hydrated.  

Simplify Relationships:  Spend the most time with the people you love; who energize you and who help you be a better person.  Don’t get too caught up in building social capital with virtual friends. Don’t entertain negative people.  Life is too short.  

There are so many things that need simplifying, I feel like I could go on forever, but I won’t.  Maybe I’ll save them for another day.  Do you have any suggestions for simplifying your life?

My Summer Adventure: Charlevoix, Michigan

A lot has happened these past couple months which is why I have decided to join my family this summer in Charlevoix, Michigan.  I see this as an exciting adventure and a unique opportunity to spend time with my parents helping them to get the studio / gallery in order.

For those of you who don’t know my story, I grew up in the beautiful city of Charlevoix nestled in among lakes, rivers, woods and hills. My parents started their business in November of 1974 and because of their incredible resourcefulness they have been able to do what they love to do for almost 40 years.  

Of course course a lot has changed over the past 40 years and despite having gone digital almost 10 years ago there's still a dark room with all of the equipment and a basement filled with an assortment of what nots.  Let’s just say it’s time to clean house.  

So this summer I will be helping mom and dad get organized as well as start a few new initiatives.  Of course I will keep you informed as things progress.  My goal is to create a progress report that I can share with people and hopefully we’ll see lots of positive changes.  

If you make it Charlevoix, Michigan this summer please stop by and see me at Aartvark Studio and Gallery - 413 Bridge Street. It’s one of the most beautiful places in the world. 



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A New Adventure

From very early on in my life I decided that I would view life as a great adventure; each day holding beautiful treasures in the form of people, places, experiences and opportunities.  I realize that this is certainly not the most conventional path to take.  Most of us are much more aligned with the one paved with upward mobility and security.  

I hold no judgement against those who have chosen this path but I will present a challenge.  Is there really such thing as absolute security?  Can you count on having a job until you retire?  Can you count being healthy the rest of your life?  Can you count on your spouse to stay with you forever?  Can you count on there being a tomorrow?  These are all things that we put our faith in, but are they truly immutable or unchangeable?

I believe the answer to the question of whether we can find absolute security is yes, but it’s not found in our work, our investments or bank accounts, our health habits or our human relationships.  True security can only be found in the eternal.  So what does that mean?  

My life’s journey has led me through a lot of uncertain times, but the one constant through it all was my faith in the Heavenly Father.  The apostle Paul says in Philippians 4:12 & 13, “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”  This is true security.

I’m off on a new adventure for a few months and I’m really not sure what to expect but one thing I am sure of, God is in control, he loves me and has a plan for my life.  Stepping out in faith can be a terrifying experience and if you don’t agree then you’ve probably never truly trusted God with all that you are and everything you have.  True security comes not from being safe, but trusting that no matter how violent the storm, He is with you throughout it all.

Of course I will keep you posted on how my journey of faith develops and I would ask you to pray for me to accomplish all that I have in my heart to do over the course of these next few months.  

So what are you putting your faith in these days?  

A Tribute to Mom: 5 gifts that molded my life

With mother's day coming up (and my mom's birthday) I wanted to give a tribute to the woman who brought me into this world.  This is not only a tribute but lessons I've learned from my mother on how to instill greatness in others.

My mother is the rock of our family; always consistent, steady, calm and collected.  She is not a reactionary person; an example of clear mindedness and unflappable.  This is the first and by far the most important thing a child needs:

          1) Provide a safe environment that offers consistent love and discipline.

I distinctly remember the time that I started hanging out with a neighbor girl who was not a good influence on me.  She taught me how to have an endless supply of chewing gum by peeling it off the sidewalk and recycling it.  She also taught me a few colorful words.  One day I thought I'd try out one of my colorful words on mom and we went straight into bathroom to taste a bar of soap.  

I discovered there were much better words to express myself.

The second gift my mom nurtured in me was:

          2)  A sense of adventure and freedom to explore.

One significant memory that I have with my mom was when we lived in Germany and she and I were out in the back yard looking for snails.  Mom wanted to try her hand at making Escargot.  We looked under rocks and bushes and I was absolutely amazed when  there, low and behold, was a snail.  Mom always encouraged me to play outdoors, explore and expand my imagination.  

The third gift mom gave me was:

          3)  A listening ear

I was picked on a lot as a kid and I remember going to bed and mom would sit in bed with me and listen to the stories of how kids pushed and punched me or screamed in my face.  She never tried to solve my problems. She simply listened, acknowledged my pain and encouraged me. 

The fourth gift that mom modeled for me was:

          4)  She never complained; she modeled servanthood. 

My mom worked 6 days a week at the gallery that my parents started almost 40 years ago.  After working all day she would come home, make a great meal and THEN clean up after the four boys (my dad included).  She never complained about all the work she had to do.  She loved us and served us,not as a martyr or a suffering servant.  She simply loved us and served unconditionally.  I am embarrassed today reflecting back on how little I contributed to our household as a boy.

The fifth gift that mom gave us was:

          5)  She was and is a woman of faith.

My mom was never one to take charge but when there was a leadership vacuum she would always step in.  She led the women's group at church.  She hosted Bible studies and fellowship groups at the house all of the time.  She was the quiet, consistent leader and had the respect of anyone who knew her at church (and that was most people.)

My mom is the most beautiful woman in the world to me both inside and out.  I don't mean to idealize her.  She wasn't perfect, but pretty darn close.  I love you mom and I want to thank you for the great sacrifice and investment that you made in me.  I strive to be a son you can be proud of because of deep gratitude I have for all that you've done for me.  Happy Mother's Day and Happy Birthday! You're the best!

Upside Down Economy: Living means dying to yourself

It doesn’t make sense!  To live you must first die, to be first you must be last; to be a great leader you must be a humble servant!  Not only that, but the one who is saying all of these crazy things claims to be fully man and fully God.  He is the God of the “both and.”  How can I get my puny little brain around this?

I was first introduced to this concept by Father Richard Rohr, a Franciscan Priest who is a prolific writer, speaker the founder of the New Jerusalem Community in Cincinnati, Ohio. This concept of “both and” felt like it bordered on heresy.  The whole notion that we could see on both sides of an issue and hold onto our opinions loosely, with grace and love, patiently processing and weighing the information seemed a little new agey.  

I’m beginning to reevaluate this concept of the “both and” and here’s why;  the paradox of the Trinity; the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.  The Trinity is One yet three separate entities with three distinct roles.  Well, maybe not that distinct but they are mentioned in the Scriptures at different times participating in the lives of people in different ways.  The Trinity can be compared to the Body of Christ.

We are all special, individually created to offer something unique to the Body.  Alone we are dysfunctional.  That’s not to say we are nonfunctional.  We can do things on our own but we were designed to contribute to the Global Community* as a reflection of God’s Kingdom here on earth.  What does God’s Kingdom look like?  Well, it’s loving; there are no divisions between, class, race, creed, color, gender or anything else for that matter.  There is a lot of celebrating; i.e., singing, dancing, sharing, eating and drinking. There is no sickness, brokenness, disability or impediment.  Everyone is in harmony with one another, with the animals and all of creation.  

It’s my opinion that if we spent more time building God’s Kingdom here on earth (spiritually) and less time determining who’s right and who’s wrong; who’s going where and why we would live much more fulfilling and satisfying lives.  Also, we would bring greater honor to the one who made us, who loves us and who told us that to the degree that we judge He would also judge us.  

So what would it look like if you were to suspend judgement, listened and responded in love?  How about we give it try!

*Global Community = The unified body of Christ throughout the world.

Envision Innovation: Effective Listening Workshop

Let me introduce you to Beth Racine, a relational consultant at Envision Innovation. What is a relational consultant you ask?  Well, let me tell you!  Beth and her team “help businesses, churches, schools and families learn effective ways to strengthen relationships for immediate results and a lasting effect.”  They provide workshops that address healthy communication whether it is in the context of parenting, marriage, the workplace or other relationships.  

This past weekend I attended a workshop at their office entitled, Effective Listening.  The objectives of this workshop were to, 1) Recognize listening habits that build and break down constructive communication and 2) Learn tools to be an effective listener.   

I loved the format because the participants were divided into multiple table groups.  The whole group listened to a brief training segment, then we participated in several short exercises that were discussed within our table groups and finally brought back for everyone to discuss.

Some of the areas that we addressed were to identify listening habits:

Are you a Squasher, an Encourager, a Realist, a Fixer, An Interrogator, a Defender, a Jokester, a Pacifier, a Storyteller or an Emotional Reactor?

What is the message we are sending when we respond to people in these ways?

The key to effective listening is acknowledgement; learning how to acknowledge people’s feelings takes training and a whole lot of practice.  Beth and her team introduced us to a practical tool that is wrapped up in four steps.

1)  Maintain your composure.

2)  Recognize your response.

3)  Acknowledge the person’s perspective.

4)  Mean it; be sincere.

Having this information is like a road map.  It can point you in the direction of where you want to go but the vehicle that helps you get there, becoming a great communicator comes with the help of organizations like Envision Innovations that can guide you on your journey and with lots of practical application.  

If you’re interested in learning more about Beth Racine and Envision Innovations you can go to their website at: http://www.envision-innovation.com/  email them at: info@envision-innovation.com or call 224.520.8155.  I’m sure they would be more than happy to answer any questions you may have.  

Personal Growth: 8 Great Questions

Here is a tool that a good friend of mine passed on to me that I use when I journal (most days).  I found it to be a great way to inventory the trajectory of things in my life.  Of course it’s not comprehensive but it’s a great place to start if you’re really serious about doing the work that we all need to do to become who we were designed to be and to live a more integra8ed life!

Eight questions:

1. What’s different?
2. What’s working?
3. What’s not working?
4. What is my state of mind?
5. What is my state of body?
6. What is my state of spirit?
7. What am I grateful for?
8. What is my intention for today?

Of course you don’t have to answer all of the questions every day but I find that it’s a great way for me to check in with myself.  So how are you doing?  Do you have tools to help you measure your heart, mind, spirit? Please share!

ProVision Network Introducing INVISION GLOBAL NETWORK

From Thermometer to Thermostat: Becoming a Change Agent

I had never heard the comparison between being a thermometer or a thermostat until listening to Seth Godin yesterday.  After looking it up online I quickly realized that this is a topic that has been widely written about.  Well, I liked it so much I thought I’d share thoughts as well (in case you missed the other comparisons).

Obviously the role of a  thermometer is to determine the temperature of something.  It fluctuates up and down with the environment.  You can see where we’re going with this.  

A thermostat on the other hand, regulates the environment.  It is connected to the heating and cooling system and sends signals when it’s time to adjust the temperature.  

Of course the question is, are you more like a thermometer or a thermostat?  Do you passively adjust to your environment or do you control your environment?  

As I was thinking further about this I came up with a few character traits that might help you determine whether you are more reactive or proactive.

The thermometer: Reactive

• Victim of circumstance
• Inability, unwilling or resistant to change
• Disempowered
• Lack guiding values and/or moral principles
• Uncertain about making decisions
• Maintain the status-quo
• Follow the rules
• Invisibility is preferred
• Always choose safety over risk taking

The thermostat: Proactive

• Agent for change
• Influencer / leader
• Take control
• Strong value system
• Vision for the ideal environment
• Creative problem solver
• Willing to change the rules
• Success = risk
• Can’t do it alone
• Prepared to take action

I honestly don’t believe that most people want to live like thermometers. It’s fear that keeps us from experiencing the great adventure that life has to offer us. So how do we overcome our fears?  Here are some tools that I’ve used that I hope will be helpful to you.

• Train yourself to believe that failure is an important part of finding personal success.
• Resource: Failing Forward by John C Maxwell
• Video: http://youtu.be/1PXpASxzmQc (John Assaraf: How to Overcome Fear...)
• Find out what you’re really afraid of and ask yourself these 4 questions.

1)  Is what I’m telling myself really true?

2)  Can I absolutely know that it is true and does it really matter?

3)  How do I react?  What happens when I believe this thought?

4)  Who would I be without that thought?

• Train yourself to manipulate those fearful thoughts by changing the way you experience them whether in your mind or your physical body.  
• Focus on the benefits of what your life will be like when you confront your fears rather than focus on the negative uncertain consequences like. pain, embarrassment, etc.
• Remember that God is in control; give your fear over to the one who can be truly trusted.

If you have any additional thoughts or suggestions please share them. I found this video inspirational: