Heavenly Houseguests

I recently was staying at the home of a missionary friend in Costa Rica and she said that she has a lot of guests come through her home but very few of them have exhibited the common courtesies that I had. Some of the offenses included helping themselves to whatever food she had in the house, using every day items like soap, shampoo, toilet paper, laundry detergent and not replacing them; not picking up after themselves, not offering to help with household chores or to do the dishes. For some reason people expected her to cook and clean for them and wait on them because she is a missionary after all. That's what missionaries do.

Well, I feel compelled to share a few tips that might seem like common sense, but unfortunately slip many people's minds in the moment.  The proverb that says, "Fish and company have at least one thing in common, they both start to stink after three days." For some, it might be more like one day!  So, for anyone who enjoys visiting friends and family and are interested in always having an open door back into their home, I suggest the following few things:

1. Bring a gift:: Everyone enjoys gifts and even more, to be appreciated. A gift is a small token of appreciation. (Flowers, chocolate, dessert, wine, etc.)  Note: If you bring something alcoholic first be sure that it's appropriate in the home of your host.
2. Be invisible: Whatever you do in the home of your host, try not to leave any evidence that you've been there unless it's something positive (like cleaning the sink or the toilet, replacing the toilet paper roll you just finished or dusting the room you're staying in.
3. Be sensitive: Your host may feel obligated to serve you but be aware of the fact they they have a life outside of serving you; things like work, household chores, errands, SLEEP!
4. Be a part of the solution: This is a delicate one but I've found that people usually appreciate when you offer to help around the house like doing the dishes, cleaning up the kitchen or dining room, vacuuming, washing towels and sheets (especially the day you leave).  Sometimes asking is not enough. You have to take action. Very rarely has someone insisted  that I not help.
5. Create value: This last trip, while talking with my friend, I realized that she could use some help with setting up a blog.  She's a missionary in her 60's and wasn't all that familiar with the different ways she could share the stories of the people she was serving.  This was a very little thing for me but meant a lot to her. So, listen to the needs of your host and you could possibly make a world of difference for them, whether it is something simple, like cooking them a meal or helping them start a project they've been putting off or perhaps it's just offering support and encouragement to them in a difficult situation. 

The important thing to remember is that it's not about us. We have to learn to be gracious receivers as well as givers.  There will be seasons and even moments for both. When we are aware of the needs of the people around us, even when it's on their turf we'll never wear out our welcome.